Madness and the pet monster.

“I really need your help. I don’t want to be like this. I want to be a good person.”

Right, well, Tate has just gained a ridiculous amount of sympathy from me.  I have been there.  I mean, I haven’t nearly chewed anyone’s face off to make a point or defend my crush, but I have been there.  (Yes, more American Horror Story, although no spoilers this time.)

Knowing that there’s something wrong, but that even then the mind you use to understand that truth is off.  And knowing isn’t enough to fix it, thinking about it isn’t enough to fix it, wanting it isn’t enough, trying isn’t enough…

It’s hell, and there is no-one I’d wish that on. Continue reading “Madness and the pet monster.”

This is Hallowe’en, this is… uhm… wait, what again now?

Yeah.  Just realized tomorrow’s Hallowe’en–not that I’d forgotten, but it keeps slipping my mind.  I’m not exactly getting into the spirit of the season this year.

We’ve picked up candy for trick-or-treaters; I’m hoping we actually get a decent number coming by this year.  Last year there were some, but not a lot.  And John called when he was doing the groceries to ask if I wanted a pumpkin, and I said yes on impulse, so we’ll at least have a jack o’lantern.  (I am not sure if I’m going to carve a face or try for one of the pictures that people do sometimes.  Probably a face.  That seems easier.)

Maybe I’ll make popcorn and make a movie night out of it.  I’ve started watching Bedlam and The Fades; I like Bedlam better,but it’s early days.  I can’t really do that with anyone, though–John’ll watch some stuff with me, but has pointed out lately that he is really not a big horror fan, and TV shows tend to have lower budgets[1] than movies.  So I’d basically be watching them alone and maybe talking to people online, but needing to look at the screen tends to cut down on how good the shows are.

…man, looking at this, I sound kind of down.  I feel kinda down.  Trying to keep an eye on that.  It gets lonely out here sometimes, and the not-working isn’t helping.


[1] Actually, he said lower budget and worse acting.  I dispute this.

Unenthused, unsurprised, unemployed.

Wednesday, I got a call from one of the temp agencies.  I’d applied for a job while I was on vacation[1], and the client wanted me in on Monday, so they were checking to see if I was still interested.  I said yes, they said excellent, there’d be no problem as long as I had an enhanced reliability security clearance, and I should be able to start on Monday.

I do have that clearance.  They said excellent, they’d just get the number from PWGSC, and all would be good.

Apparently something’s gone off with that, since I got an e-mail at 3:30 this afternoon asking me to fill out, scan, and e-mail them paperwork.  At the moment they want to see if I can start Wednesday, and I still haven’t gotten an address.  An address would be very useful.  Just saying.

I’m tired.  Tired and unhappy and at that stage where I am really worrying about whether or not I should take the job, and not sure if it’d be up to me, anyway.

Watching trailers with John and trying to improve my mood.  Knock on wood.


[1] Bless the wonders of IMAP servers; my computers are finally set up so that I can send and receive e-mail from either one and it’ll still show up on the other.  Even Sent items.  This is a vast improvement over not checking my e-mail on my laptop so that I can have it all in one place.  Now it’s all in two places.

…sometimes I think I have too many files in my life.

The nature of the beast.

Yep, more American Horror Story; thoughts which mostly revolve around the second episode, although bits of the third might creep in.  Watched them back to back.

I really think I should just give up on defining Constance and Addy.  I don’t think they’ve died–the interactions with others and the very prosaic baking scene kind of killed that theory for me–but the way Constance especially shows up inside the house at the oddest moments is seriously uncanny.  And given the end of the “Home Invasion” episode and her discussion with Tate and Moira, she pretty clearly knows what they are and is dealing with it jest fahn, as George Stark would say in a rather heavy Southern accent.

(Constance was the source of one of two “oh right, that’s what this reminds me of” moments this episode, too.  Blanche.  She’s so very much Blanche from A Streetcar Named Desire.)  And I think that’s about as far as I can get without spoilers, so ahoy the cut. Continue reading “The nature of the beast.”

Safe Haven

Watching the first season of Haven, which is a sort of small-town/X-Files crossbreed. Kirsti mentioned it, and I like talking TV shows and the like with her, and it’s certainly not the kind of thing I’d avoid. Spoilers after cut, and I should really figure out some kind of cut-off point for when to quit worrying about spoilers. First season only came out last year, but I watch older things too. Continue reading “Safe Haven”

Nerves.

It is ridiculous to get stage fright when you are going to see someone else. Still.

Off to Scottish crime authors night; details later, from keyboard rather then phone.

ETA at 1 a.m. on the 25th:

I had a lovely time.  😀  Stuart MacBride, who was the author whose name caught my attention in the first place, is very funny in pretty much exactly the way you’d expect a man who writes gritty (and/or morbidly cheerful) stories about serial killers to be.  He read the short story I just linked, too; said it was the first time he’d read it for an audience.  He signed my copies of halfhead and Flesh House, and seemed pleased to hear I’d liked halfhead.  Apparently he got a lot of grief for writing something that wasn’t in the series he’s best known for; I think that’s a serious shame, as it was a good book and a damn fun story.

Ian Rankin I had heard of and read before; Denise Mina I hadn’t.  I’m rather regretting the last, now; I would have picked up her book The End of Wasp Season if I weren’t on a strict self-imposed moratorium of Only One More Book This Year Dammit.  (There was an accident incident with a bookstore in Niagara Falls.  Oh lord, was there an incident.)